But, in case you don’t spend all your time on parenting blogs, what we mean by DD is Dear Daughter, and we’re inviting both of you to our annual Mother Daughter Gathering at the salon. Here’s why you’ll want to grab your daughter by the attitude, and get to this fun night, Monday, October 15th, 2018.
Because we’ll teach you all the cool stuff they show on Pinterest
That fancy braid that your daughter insists every mom except you knows how to do… those loose beachy curls you see on Facebook videos… how to apply eyeliner without looking like a prostitute. At Nixon and Company, we have the answers, and we can show you how it’s done. Plus, all the information will come from us. This means that because we’re not you, there’s a chance she may listen.
Because girls are awesome
Girls are great, and our daughters are smart, confident, and empowered. Based on this, we should never squander the opportunity to get them around women who are also smart, confident and empowered. In these days of vagina hats, #metoo movements, and patriarchy awareness, we could all use some bonding. And some free gifts.
Because we’re full of good advice
Simply put: The ladies of Nixon & Company know things. And to your daughter, we’re hip strangers with cool products who sell amazing clothes. This means we must be cooler than you. Don’t begrudge us this royalty. Instead, use it to your benefit.
Come in, and let us be the ones to tell your daughter she doesn’t have to wash her hair every day. Or that she does still need to wash her hair (we’re talking grease fire). Or that her flat iron techniques could trigger another kind of fire. There are things girls don’t want to hear. Especially from you. But they’ll take it from us. Cause, you know, we’re cool.
Because you deserve it
You are a rock star. You are molding the next generation of women. You’re defining a woman’s worth, and you’re doing it all under constant scrutiny – and through constant eye rolls. You deserve a night out to celebrate your rock star qualities.
So, grab that DD and come on in. Get ideas, get advice, and get each other something special – like these amazing textured bracelets. They’re cool. Trust us. We know.
It started with wine. Of course. The girls told me October 4 is National Taco Day. They said, “Lettuce talk about it.” Even though it was “Nacho business.”
I took a sip and dove in.
It turns out tacos are a big hit at Nixon and Company. In fact, Melissa celebrates Taco Tuesday every week. Seriously, every week. “But I mix it up,” she says. Meaning, sometimes they’re made with ground beef, sometimes chicken, and sometimes steak.
So basically, the love of tacos is real. And there are many reasons for it. As they talked, I counted five. Here they are:
They make us happy. Soft, hard-shelled, fish, ready-made, create-your-own, on Tuesdays, or any day of the week. The details didn’t matter. The girls were hard-pressed to narrow down their favorites, and every variation resulted in glee. We were on serious ground. Melissa’s weekly menu was proof.
They’re spicy and easy. Oh, yeah. Who doesn’t love “spicy and easy”? Note to self: Do not make joke here. Do not make joke here. Do not make joke here. Seriously, no innuendos. The girls spilled out the attributes of tacos as easily as others might talk of, I don’t know, their spouses? Their kids? God? They just love tacos, and as fast I could type, I gathered: They’re delicious, crowd-pleasing, versatile, spicy, crunchy, easy to order, easy to make, easy to purchase. Wow, I must admit I had never thought of tacos with such passion. And suddenly, I wanted Mexican.
They’re good with beverages. The girls then quickly turned to all the yummy drinks that go nicely with tacos. In a scene that could only be reminiscent of Bubba’s shrimp diatribe in Forest Gump, the girls said margaritas. Regular margaritas. Margaritas on the rocks. Strawberry margaritas. Mango margarita. Carlos Miguels margaritas. Frozen margaritas. Skinny margaritas. Pre-made margaritas. Home-made margaritas. Margarita recipes…Then Kelly yelled, “Focus chickens! We’re talking about tacos!” Oops.
You can dress up like a taco for Halloween. Thank you, Amber. Thank you for focusing. Yes, this is another of the top five reasons to love tacos. Halloween is coming. And you can indeed dress up like a taco. Moving on.
They’re inspirational. The final praise for tacos: They inspire us to reveal our feelings. To tell the truth about our needs, even if it means sacrificing other foods. To just do it. (Hmm-hmmm: Controversial Nike reference). Anyway. Our love of tacos gives us the courage to stand behind our taco pride with confidence. Like by wearing this shirt.
Eventually, the wine dried up, and the topic of tacos reached its natural end. At which time, Amber said, “Okay? So?” I thought this meant did I have any more questions. But she was actually saying, “Queso.” Didn’t I get it?
She said, “Yeah! We can’t stop taco-ing about it.” And then they laughed. And they found more wine.
The first Friday in September is Lazy Moms Day. Is this like National Unicorn Day?
Last we checked, there were no lazy moms. Who thought of this title? A man? We’ve tried to find some lazy moms to gear up for this day, but the moms we found were running off to work, backed up in the Kiss & Go lane, or figuring out how to add partial sums. So, we had to dig deeper.
About Lazy Moms Day
Alas, it turns out, Lazy Moms Day is not a celebration of Lazy Moms. It’s a celebration of moms and a national decree bearing them the right to be lazy. For one whole day. True, this is better. But, we have our doubts. Let’s break this down.
First: We say laziness is lady’s choice.
We moms have literally created a whole human being inside ourselves. We wrecked our bodies, and then pushed it out only to have it backtalk us for the rest of our lives.
While we may not be sane, we are committed. And we are the rock stars of humanity. Based on this, we’ll tell you when we need a day to be lazy. It will be on our terms. And it won’t be once a year.
Second: Why do we need a national decree?
Here’s a national decree: “We’re tired.” It takes a lot of effort to Lean In. To keep track of our “Me too” moments. To manage work and childcare and to make 80 cents on the dollar. Now we have to track goofy holidays? We appreciate the nod, but really? Sniff, sniff… I smell a man close by.
Third: If we even wanted to be lazy, we’d have to work for it.
Getting to be lazy can’t just happen for we moms. It’s not as easy as making a tee time and going. For moms, it’s different. For example, this is what we must do just to leave town for a day (without being followed):
Ensure kids’ transportation is not a cover for an international sex trafficking ring
Pack nutritious and convenient lunches in advance (so they can be forgotten and kids can “starve” and blame you)
Shop for and prepare ready-to-heat meals (so they can be forgotten and whole family can go to McDonalds)
Make list of emergency contacts in case of sex trafficking
Coordinate pet care because family will forget
Hire help because family will forget
Sign permission slips so they can be forgotten
Anticipate last-minute laundry needs because of what family has forgotten
Create to-do list so family doesn’t forget
Alert neighbors about your absence (and potential sex trafficking threat)
They say we moms are supposed to celebrate the day by taking a holiday from laundry, dishes, bathroom cleaning, and car pools. It does sound grand, doesn’t it. But in reality, we think taking a break from any of these tasks will mean just doing more the next day. I don’t know about you, but I’m sensing more clothes piled up, more dishes in the sink, and even more piss around the rim. And honestly, I bet they’ll throw in one more kid to pick up. Maybe someone we don’t even know. See, trafficking.
Knowing this, it’s probably best for all of us if we celebrate as briskly as possible in a way that’s least likely to loosen our work saddle break up the routine. We say: Shop.
Come in and visit us or shop online for some amazing looks you deserve. Don’t wait for someone to go out and get you something. Just do it yourself. You’re a mom. And if anyone asks you whether you’re going to be lazy, we have the perfect shirt to wear in response.
No, not you, you sexy 12th grader. Although with the senior pic poses these days, we could mean high school seniors. But head back to class, saucy minors. The people we’re actually talking to are sexy senior citizens!
This is because it’s Senior Citizen Day, August 21! On this special day, we want to show our respect.
Because … we see you there.
There’s no need to bedazzle your walker. Unless of course, you want to. We’re happy to help. But we want you to know we do see you. We know you often get the rub (And we don’t mean the good kind.) The truth is the jokes are often on you. Do you pick pants or diapers? That DEPENDS! Aggh! Thanks for that, Amber!
All kidding aside, seniors take some serious heat. And we’re here to call bull$&!*
Because… we love seniors.
Advanced older adults are awesome. We admire their perspective, their grit, their spunk, and specifically, their ability to not give a crap. These are folks who have seen the same trends come and go through decades and they know not to get their panties in a wad. (Of course, that’s because many of them no longer wear panties). Regardless, our seniors are the smartest among us and we want to celebrate them!
So what can we do?
Amber knows! Wheelchair races! Great idea! But, the Egg & I won’t let us use their parking lot, it’s not really appropriate.
How about wine? Thanks Kelly! That’s always a great idea. But, we think your other plan might be the best:
30% off – all day!
Sexy seniors, come in on August 21 and celebrate your sexy senior-ness with 30% off all products! Not sure what to get? We can help.
We’re not talking about your tried-and-true Aqua-net. We have products that will add shine to your silver and va-voom to your do! Come see what all the fuss is about!
More ways to celebrate Senior Citizen Day?
Whether it’s racing, or wine, or saving, the point is this, our senior friends: On this day, take the time to appreciate all that you are and all that you know. Here are more ways to celebrate your aging self:
Invest in you. While you’re stocking up on product at Nixon and Company, browse our boutique. We have amazing wares for ladies of all ages. We’re multi-generational! Check out this versatile Kantha Bead Necklace. Wear it long or wrap it for a layered look.
Make fun of young people. Another way to celebrate: Give em crap right back. You get to hear all the jokes about your driving, your slowness, and your tendency to start every conversation with “back in my day…” So instead, turn the tables. Google “Millennials Memes” and get the party started.
Mess with young people. When you grow tired of laughing at the younger generations, turn it up a notch. Ask your daughter whether King Soopers sells condoms. Ask your grandson if you can borrow a vape pen. Pour yourself some wine and give them something to talk about.
Finally, old dear friend, we love you. Come in for 30% off. And if you’re not a senior, then find a senior and do something nice for them. Show them the respect they deserve, or you won’t win the race of life. In a wheelchair or not.
If you’re like us, your pace is a mile a minute, and if you slow down for one fraction of a second, the wheels are gonna fall off. Relax? Are you kidding? While you’re at it, you’ll also have a crumpet with the queen after your polo match.
But still, National Relaxation Day is coming up. So even if you’re wound tighter than the Spanx you accidentally threw in the dryer, you should at least try to chill out, even just a little. Let’s unpack this, shall we?
First, this is legit.
They say National Relaxation Day stemmed from a UK holiday called “Slackers’ Day,” which I’m just going to say sounds much easier to get behind. Regardless, on this day, we encourage you to somehow find the perfect way to relax. Dig deep here.
Kelly suggests a hot and tender approach using an instrument of loving heat. It involves soft strokes with just enough firm pressure to experience the impact. Relax and feel the straight…
Whoa! Not that, you dirty girl. We’re talking about a BLOW-OUT.
This relaxing service demands you sit and do nothing but enjoy the pampering. And it leaves you looking awesome. You may even be more inclined to do what you had in mind in the first place. Make an appointment here. For the blow-out, silly. Not the sex. That’s a whole other website. Clear your cookies, ladies.
Beyond the blow-out, here are more ways to embrace this day.
Wine, wine, and more wine. This was Kelly’s next answer. Of course, she thought the question had turned to “What’s for breakfast?” But seriously, she still said wine. And for good reason. For so many of us it’s the number-one way to relax. And we don’t even need a national holiday for it. Bottoms up.
Shopping. We’re not going to lie. Retail therapy always tames the savage beast. And this doesn’t have to involve a trip to the mall and painful crowds. For example, you can browse our boutique. The atmosphere is calm and soothing and we’re always here to help. If you’re so relaxed you can’t make it in, you can also shop online. Sip your wine as you look for more perfect outfits to relax in. Like this Dusty Pink Soft Cardigan. Now that’s cozy.
Take a long bath. Another idea: Step away from the chaos and fill up the tub. Crate the kids Make sure the kids are safe, then lock the door and make sure they can’t find you. Then lose yourself in the hot steam. This works for 99% of women. But not if you’re Amber, who claims baths make her too hot. Then try a cold shower. The point it: Escape and relax!
Skip it all together. Another approach to this day? Simply say no. As Melissa says, “I don’t relax.” Perhaps you too are fed a steady diet of food poisoning, children, demands, deadlines and anxiety that you don’t relax either. This is fine! If we know anything, it’s that we can’t keep caving to society and these fabricated holidays. If we’re not ready to relax, screw it. Pour the coffee and keep the wheels on the bus!
At the end of the day, ladies, do what you gotta do. Buy the wine, fill the tub, or fill your shopping cart. Celebrate the day by relaxing – or not relaxing – the way you want! Like in these Sage Drawstring Joggers. So comfy, you won’t want to take them off. Or someone else may want to. You know, after you get that blow-out.
It is sad that so many of us seem to struggle with this. It’s even sadder that there are bestsellers out there to help. And a Real Simple magazine. Now there’s even a national celebration called Simplify Your Life Week. (And, of course, we know about it.)
This should be, well, simple. To simplify your life, just quit your job, step away from the mortgage, and lock the kids outside. Bam! Your life is now simple! But wait, you’re also unemployed, homeless, and incarcerated. There is the downside.
But it is still possible to simplify. And we have four tips that should make it a little easier. And less illegal.
First things first: Narrow down your wine order
You know what complicates life? Having too many options for your wine order. Can you imagine the hours you are wasting in the aisles of Sam’s Club? Or the precious moments you are spending wondering if you’re in a spicy, dry, fruity, or nutty mood. You know you represent them all – at all times.
To simplify, keep your order straight-forward. Have a go-to answer: Merlot. Period. Or: White. Any. Or do like we do. When someone says “wine?” We simply say “Yes.” Easy peasy.
Simplify your wardrobe
Another way to make life simple is by un-complicating your clothes. Now we’re not talking specifically about Garanimals. (My young readers, this was a kids’ clothing line established in 1972. Ask your parents.)
Also, we don’t expect you to wear children’s clothing. (At least not out in public. But if you’ve been that successful on your diet that you fit into kids’ sizes, well, kudos to you.)
But really, what we’re talking about is the “fool-proof simplicity” of items that can be easily mixed and matched by any preschooler. Even our own.
We need to stop making good style difficult. Instead, we need to think simplicity. Pick quality items that can be worn alone or paired with others. Invest in a “look” that’s right for you and start building a stable of pieces. Pardon the animal pun. Start shopping here.
Get a great haircut and style
Now we’re just guessing here. But we’re willing to go out on a limb (animal reference) and say that your everyday routine doesn’t allow for trolling YouTube for how-to-get-the-perfect blow-out tutorials. Those pesky jobs/kids/families really put a dent in that, but that’s another story. Not to mention the other videos you could be searching regarding “blowing.” But we digress.
The fact is no one has time for complicated routines and learning curves. Invest in a quality cut and style that’s in line with the natural properties of your hair and the unnatural demands of your people. Leave complicated for your relationships, and keep your hair simple.
Streamline your shopping
Finally, know that driving all around God’s creation searching for the cutest clothes just takes up too much time and energy – time and energy that could be spent drinking wine. Or helping us identify national holidays.
Instead, simplify your life by buying all your clothes here. Or online here. Tops, bottoms, skirts, dresses, even coats, and shoes, and jewelry, gifts and accessories – we have it all. And of course, they’re the best around. Plus, you’ll master a stylish look that comes together naturally, without even Garanimals labels.
Bottom line: With all the crap we’ve got going on, and those needy jobs/kids/families that surround us, we have to do what we can to make life easier and simpler. Plus, we shouldn’t need a national week to remind us that less is more. Let’s get out there ladies, and take it down a notch. Relax and a pour a glass of wine. And don’t even ask what kind.
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