Wow. It seems like just yesterday, we were preparing for Y2K, and now we’re 19 years in. We’re approaching this year with grace and confidence because we’re just one year away from entering the “20s.” You know, like the “Roaring 20s,” but a hundred years later. Let that sink in. Now, when we refer to the 20s, we’ll have to ask, “Which ones?” But I digress. The point is, time is flying, and a century out from prohibition, we’re ready for the last year of this decade, and we’re raising a glass. Game on!
In fact, this is how excited we are.
Well, truthfully, Kelly is just excited because she’s splashing on the beach in Mexico. But she left us up here in the cold with some thoughts on what we can all look forward to in 2019.
Rounded bobs
One trend we’re excited about is the “Rounded Bob.” No, this is not your fat uncle. This is a new take on the traditional a-line bobs of yesteryear, with a look that is softer and more feminine. For you, it will just take some shine serum and a few minutes with the hair dryer. For the ladies of Nixon & Co, it will take some point cuts into your ends. But as you and I know, they know what they’re doing.
Blunt jawline bob
Here’s another trend we love for the New Year, the blunt jawline bob. Yes, it does sound like a boxing move. But, yo Adrian, this look will keep you on your feet and make you the winner of any match. Okay, enough boxing references. What the cut entails is a short blunt cut coming between your ears and chin. Shorter at the back, longer at the front, it flatters the jaw and brings out your pretty face.
Pass the mustard
While there is plenty more to say about hair trends of 2019, we have to move on to fashion too. Because you know, we are all about overall style from head to toe. The color we’re seeing for spring is yellow. But not lemon, or buttercup, or winter wheat. We’re talking mustard. It’s been said it’s bold with a hint of spice. Now don’t think yellow mustard at your neighborhood cookout. This is more like Grey Poupon. And coordinated with your classic black, it’s a look that’s making us suddenly hungry.
Tie dye and “puffed shoulders”
Since this may be a lot to digest, we’re tackling this one at the same time. Both tie dye and “puffed shoulders” have hit the runway for the season. They can’t scare us with these ones. Remember, we have beer. The fact is, it’s time to get out your rubber bands and your old shirts. Or, probably better yet, be on the look-out for these amazing finds.
At the same time, look for some added poof in your dresses and tops.
But remember, think “Puff,” not “Linebacker.” This is 2019. We don’t want to hurt anyone.
In conclusion, these are just a few of the many trends of 2019 we’re ready for. And, if you want a new style to welcome in the new year, come see us. We’ll set you on a path to roar into 2020. And we’ll raise a toast together!
Holy crap
– happy holidays! We’re ending the year by taking a look back. Well, we’re
honestly just tired, or drunk on the nog, and we couldn’t think of a topic.
So, we
thought we’d reflect on the past year and highlight some of our favorite pieces
of whit and banter, in case you missed them. Or you just want to read them
again because they’re that good.
Although
we share our insights every single week,
we’ll provide a recap this season by season.
Winter
We started
the year with questions: What
did we do before the Internet? What are the challenges to community
and education? What is
a $%@-hole country? Actually, this was all a big plug for shopping at
Nixon & Company. But what a great start to 2018!
In
February, we took a trip to Vegas and came back with wise
advice for summer fashions. We drew inspiration from a simpler time,
and shared the latest on jumpers, rompers, and stripes. We were just warming
up.
Then we
headed into St. Patrick’s Day with 4
ways to celebrate. There was plenty of talk of getting tied up. Okay,
it was actually about belts. Get your head out of the gutter.
Spring
As spring
approached, we addressed an issue at the top of everyone’s minds: The moist air
and what
that means to hair. True, we did provide some solid advice on
products, cuts, and styling. But really, we just wanted to say moist.
In May, we
recognized our moms and encouraged everyone to celebrate
Mother’s Day with new stuff from Nixon & Co. We still love these
Beljoy bracelets, made by a company that creates jewelry-making jobs for the
people of Haiti.
Next, we
offered four tips for making sure dad would never be a dud on Father’s
Day. First, fix his do. Second, tame those caterpillars. Three,
update his style. The fourth? You’ll have to read it.
Summer
When
summer came, we celebrated National
Friendship Day and we raised our glasses to all our friends who know
where we buried the bodies. In August, Kelly suggested a way to unwind on National
Relaxation Day. It involved a hot and tender approach using an
instrument of loving heat and soft strokes. Intrigued? I bet! Moving on, we
then dug deep into what makes Kelly tick. Is she a B#$%&, or
just a Virgo?
Fall
Finally, moving
into the last quarter, we were in high gear, spouting off all the
reasons we love tacos. I don’t make this up. Then we shared deep
thoughts on winter, which mainly consisted of: Stop shaving. And
this brought us full circle to just a few weeks ago, when we brought everyone up
to speed on Percy
the Puny Poinsettia and, of course, our love of these awesome pants.
So, it’s
been a great year, full of inappropriateness, and there’s more
where these came from. We
don’t always reflect on all the wisdom we’ve shared, so we were happy to do it
here. And it let us create a whole blog out of stuff we’ve already said.
Until next
year, thanks for reading. May you all have a joyous holiday and a very happy
and healthy 2019. We’ll see you then!
We don’t know when it happened. Well, it was around 2010, according to TimeMagazine. But suddenly we can’t get through a holiday season without our ugly sweaters.
Amber loves to sport her favorite one, with the strategically placed rose covering her boob. She swears it’s lovely. And it’s from Nordstrom! So it’s okay.
She pulls it out every Christmas. Well, that’s not true. She wears it year-round. But the point is this, ladies: Ugly sweater season is here, and how can we make the most of this ugly tradition? Pour your nog, friends, we have some thoughts.
Embrace it. The truth is the easiest way to get through it all is to just find that ugly sweater. The uglier the better. Take Amber’s lead and whip out your own nipple. Apparently, you don’t even need a flower. Any of Santa’s helpers will do. Why, Rudolph, is it cold in here?
Seriously, if you don’t have anything hidden in your own closet, get yourself to all the stores who are catering to this trend, er, capitalizing on this opportunity. Nordstrom, Kohl’s, Walmart. They are here for you. And because Ugly Sweater extravaganzas aren’t going away anytime soon, consider it an investment. Although we don’t know how well Rudolph is going to hold up in the wash.
Make your own.
As if the holidays aren’t hard enough, apparently you can make them harder by creating your own ugly sweater. Amber swore there were kits for this. Of course, I didn’t believe her. But again, there is Google.
Sure enough, “Let’sGet Ugly” is available at Bed Bath & Beyond – marked down to$6.99. I believe you have to get your own sweater though. And there are no reviews. Trust your gut here. I say, Amber can make a sweater, and I’ll make a drink.
Bake it.
Speaking of kits, it also seems there’s no reason to limit your ugly sweater to something you have to wear. Hell, you can eat this lovely tradition. Also available at Walmart is an ugly sweater cookie decorating kit. This is truly for the Christmas die-hards who want to bring out their creativity, and honestly, their tweezers. Check out the finished project.
Try our cute sweaters instead.
If all this is too much, we don’t blame you. Besides, there are so many times in our lives when we’re accidentally ugly, why would we do it on purpose?
Instead, snub the trend and get a sweater that’s truly cute. We love this oversized grey sweater. Warm and cozy, even your nipples won’t show.
Another great look for any holiday party: The dusty pink v-neck sweater. The look is dressy with a wide v-cut scoop neck and breast pocket detail. Relaxed yet slimming, the look is hard to achieve anywhere else. Even with a kit!
Finally, ugly sweater or cute sweater, it’s sweater weather and ugly sweater season. Do what you got to do to get through it, even if you need a giant boob rose. Or two. And in the meantime, we wish you all a MerryChristmas.
First of all, there actually is a National Poinsettia Day, and it’s the 12th!
It turns out that long before we were building walls, we were celebrating our “cultural bridges” with Mexico. In America, on National Poinsettia Day, we commemorate Joel Poinsett’s discovery of the plant. In Mexico, they display the poinsettia on the “Day of the Virgin.”
Well, there’s no virgins here. At Nixon & Co, we celebrate this beautiful plant by singing rounds and rounds of “Percy the Puny Poinsettia.”
Seriously. This is a song, although only Kelly knows about it.
It seems the people who brought us “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” also penned this poignant tune with these awe-inspiring words:
Percy the puny poinsettia
Is hanging his bloom in dismay
If they had just kept him wetta
He’d be a houseplant today
I didn’t believe any of this, until now, when I Googled it. Here I found the rest of the lyrics, and wept at how they rhymed “setta” with “wetta,” “redda,” and “betta.”
So I’m just going to move on to the other ways it’s recommended to celebrate this day. The experts offer these three ideas:
Make a poinsettia punch. Confirming my suspicions that the Internet is a scary, scary place, this is actually suggested. Blend together 14 ounces of cranberry juice with 20 ounces of ginger ale. Of course, the main problem here is that this idea exists. The other problem is that it doesn’t call for vodka.
Decorate with poinsettia-inspired designs. Wow, that’s creative. I don’t think I’ll be able to pull that off by the 12th on account of I’m not crafty. And oh yeah, that idea just lulled me into a coma of boredom.
Alas, they say, visit your local botanical gardens and see all the “amazing varieties” of this holiday flower. Maybe this might work. Again, if you add vodka.
Recognizing that all these ideas suck, and still wondering why no one has ever heard of Percy the Puny Poinsettia, the girls thought of other suggestions that might be “betta.”
Give someone a poinsettia. Or initiate a gift-giving tradition, where everyone has to give someone a gift that starts with the first letter of their name. This way, your friend Patty could have her beautiful poinsettia. And Kelly could get her KY Jelly, and Melissa, her marijuana, and Amber, her Ambien. Or an assault rifle. I don’t write this stuff, ladies. I simply report it.
Skip the poinsettia altogether. They never last. Even the ones that aren’t puny. And besides that, they’re poisonous to dogs and cats, and you know how sensitive the girls are about their killer plants. The truth is that poinsettias aren’t actually poisonous.They’re only mildly toxic. (I don’t make this stuff up.) Look for drooling, licking lips, and vomiting. This is in your pets – not you.
Finally, just wear something red. Like these incredible bell-bottom corduroy pants. Well, technically they’re rust. But with the smooth waistline finish and trendy legs, you couldn’t look more stylish. Unless of course, you were holding a poinsettia.
We leave you now to carve out your own National Poinsettia Day festivities. Tell us how you’ll be celebrating. Or just come by and let us know if you’ve ever heard of Percy. Bring your flowers. We’ll bring the vodka.
No, seriously. We’re not talking about refraining from giving people a hard time or a bad attitude. We’re talking about not giving people crap gifts. With the holidays approaching, the girls are taking on some important gift-giving advice. And, specifically, they’re calling a halt to giving crap no one wants.
Rule #1: Only make a gift if you’re talented.
Here, the girls want to be clear: Homemade gifts are lovely. Especially if you are skilled artist or you have access to a loom. Or you’re 5. Or, you’re an award-winning baker with a commercial kitchen. And you don’t allow cats on your counter.
But if none of these qualifiers apply to you, we’re going to need you to set that glue gun down. Unless you’re making a solid living on Etsy, no one wants your crap. Even if you think you make a fantastic wreath (ahem, Melissa), please rethink.
Rule #2: Only give if you mean it.
Another gift-giving guideline involves when you should – or shouldn’t – give. This one comes from Kelly: Only give a gift if your heart is telling you to. Don’t buy a gift (and of course, don’t make a gift) just because you feel obligated. Too many people do this, she says. Instead, give because you love that person and because they enrich your life.
Yeah, says Melissa. Give them an Oreo.
Sometimes these meetings just confuse me. Where’s that wine?
Rule #3: Reuse a gift.
Here, I thought the girls were advising to not re-gift. Of course! Good idea! It is safe to assume that if you don’t want the pink roses Yankee Candle, no one else does either. Get these things out of circulation, along with the gift bags they came in!
Wait! Apparently, this pointer doesn’t involve re-gifting. What the girls were talking about is actually re-using. Uh, ladies… Could you elaborate? Well, they only had one example, and it came from Kelly: Say, if you receive a wreath made of wine corks, pull those suckers off and use them for something else. Like shutting up your mother-in-law on Christmas Day.
Rule #4: Get a cool gift from Nixon & Co.
Finally, the best rule for gift-giving came down to an obvious answer. Shop Nixon & Co in store or online, and you can’t go wrong. The girls agreed: Come into our classic and trendy boutique, or browse pages of stylish ideas here.
Another great gift: The confetti beanie from C.C. Beanies. One size fits all, even if your loved one’s noggin is the size of a melon. And with the comfy fit and plenty of stretch, this hat is practically a party on your head.
Need another idea? Moooo-ove over for this perfect-accessory Cowhide Clutch. The look is rustic yet sophisticated, casual yet classic. A medium size for maximum impact – it’s perfect for cell phones, keys, lipstick, oh, and corks.
In conclusion, with Nixon & Co, and our sage advice, you have options this holiday season. You can not give a crap and celebrate however you want. Or you can give a crap and let people know you care. But what you can’t do is givecrap. Step away from Pinterest, and throw out that glue gun. Give cause you mean it, and give things people actually want.
Come on in. We’ll set down the wine-bottle wreath we’re working on and give you a hand.
It’s Amber’s birthday, the resident Sagittarius. Happy birthday Amber!
This tribute to Amber started with Kelly telling us that those born under the Sagittarius sign are natural wanderers. Kelly says this doesn’t apply to Amber. She never wanders. But Amber herself disagrees. “I am a wanderer,” she says, “But a responsible wanderer.”
I quickly realized how wandering this blog was going to get.
But we forged ahead, in honor of our birthday girl.
The girls read that the Sagittarius is the most peaceful and loving of all the fire signs. This brought them to a round of “This girl is on fire,” but then they got back to business. They read on that Amber is supposed to be generous and idealistic, with a great sense of humor: An enthusiastic extrovert, constantly in touch with the world and possessing an intense curiosity.
Amber was sold. She does have a wandering soul, she says.
“I look at what makes sense at the moment,” she says. “And I’m okay if that changes.”
And if someone told her to jump off a cliff, she would. In fact, she did, she says.
She never got to that story, because this wandering girl veered the subject to one of her latest adventures. A married mom in the suburbs, she followed her intense curiosity on a quest for the most comfortable panties, only available at Sam’s Club.
There she was: Constantly in touch with the world… of intimate apparel at a membership-only retail warehouse. On a mission to buy panties and only panties, she found her size and threw them in the cart, not realizing that the panty packaging looked oddly like a best-selling hardcover. So, extroverted and enthusiastic, she was quick to answer when a passing associate asked her if it was any good. “Hell, yes!” she told him. “Get yourself some today!”
Well, that’s not entirely true. But she is a fan of her Sam’s Club panties.
And this wandering Sagittarius is idealistic with a big heart. Even in travels to Sam’s Club, even in bulk underwear. This girl is on fire.
Which is why Kelly’s been a big fan since they met at Kelly’s former salon in 2006. “I don’t know what I’d be doing today if Amber hadn’t come into my life,” she says.
Aw, it was a sweet moment and I could see how close all three of these ladies are in friendship, respect, partnership, and intense curiosity.
In this case, it was the curiosity of what they wanted for Christmas, and thus they wandered…
Kelly wants a new diamond. Melissa wants a robot vacuum cleaner. “But they’re a million dollars,” she sighs. NO THEY’RE NOT, MELISSA. They’re like $200. You can get them on Amazon, they implore.
Oh, but birthday girl is on to something: She wants a handheld steamer to clean the shower. “You can just use a clothes steamer,” they tell her. “No, it has to be a cleaner steamer,” Amber says. Like we said, she’s idealistic.
What do you want?
So this topic led to a natural wandering to Cyber Monday, and the amazing items available online at Nixon and Company. Kelly says, stay on your couch and check out these incredible styles – and take up to 40% off!
There was indeed a lot to cover here. Amber’s birthday, Roombas, diamonds, and Cyber Monday. Yes the topic wandered, but that’s how it goes with Sagittarius, creative women, and a bottle of wine.
So, relax, stay in, wish happy birthday thoughts to Amber, and shop online and save. Unless you need panties. Then get to Sam’s.
Wait, that was last week’s blog. Or the week before that.
This week, we’re talking about Thanksgiving: How to enjoy it, and how to survive it.
“Like we said,” the girls told me. “Drink wine.”
But we have to elaborate, and you can’t just keep pushing your alcoholic ways, I said, as I reached for my glass.
So the ladies put on their turkey hats and got serious. What’s to say about this holiday that is approaching one week sooner than it should? And how can our readers get in front of this day and make it great? They offered three ways. (They said threeways, not three-ways. Geez!)
Get a tradition.
At Kelly’s house they start every Thanksgiving with a neighborhood game of touch football. The mere thought of this made me want to lose my gravy, but she swore by it. “It’s so much fun!” she said. I couldn’t tell if she was kidding.
Another tradition they have is the annual tablecloth creation and presentation. Every year, she finds her fabric markers (she’s crafty, I’ll tell you) and encourages her guests to write on the cloth what they’re grateful for. Then, each year, she pulls out the last year’s tablecloth and they lament last year’s joys – over wine.
This left the others struggling. Did they have any traditions? Did they do anything special? Did they just suck? Amber offered up a holiday gift tradition she and her daughter do for Christmas, but when it came to Thanksgiving, she brought nothing to the table.
Did Melissa have any traditions? Honestly, she is still thinking about it. (See last week’s blog.)
Get out of your comfort zone.
Does your stuffing have too much stuff in it? Are there foods you won’t eat? Turkey Trots you won’t run? Friends and family you won’t break bread with?
If so, another idea is to give thanks for the opportunity and just say yes. Try that nasty stuffing. Sign up for that crazy Turkey Challenge, and extend your table to all who are hungry.
Leave your crustiness for the Thanksgiving pies, and get out of your comfort zone. Amber knows. She’ll said she’ll eat the stuffing and whatever else is out there, including the turkey gizzards.
“I don’t discriminate,” she said. “Because of the vitamins.”
Screw Black Friday.
Another way to celebrate Thanksgiving? Take a pass on Black Friday.
I almost lost the girls here, when Amber started reminiscing about one of the times she went out on Black Friday. Apparently, she was so determined to buy a trampoline, she literally sat down on it and refused to get up.
“Wow,” the girls exclaimed! “Was this when you were a kid?” they asked in all sincerity.
“No,” she replied. “It was just a few years ago.”
Ah. Where’s that wine?
Anyway, back to the subject, the girls agreed Black Friday is just not worth it.
Kelly asked: Have you ever gotten a deal so good it was worth getting out of your PJs?
And Melissa asked: Why is it called Black Friday?
Shop Cyber Monday
A better option, they said: Drink and relax all weekend, and then sit on your couch and shop on Cyber Monday.
Or, prepare for more comfy days in these amazing olive joggers, trending this season.
Or, tell the world how you feel about stuffing (or turkey gizzards), with this Seriously Cannot Tank Top – also on sale.
Be grateful.
Finally, at the end of day, Thanksgiving is next week. We encourage you to enjoy it and survive it. With gratitude. We ourselves are counting our blessings. And our wine bottles. Cheers and Happy Thanksgiving!
This blog is in honor of Melissa, whose birthday is November 12, and who is turning 30, or 34, or 40, and who is a Scorpio. Or is she?
It turns out, she is, but she isn’t. We’ll get to that later. First: The girls dug deep into all that makes Melissa, Melissa. And in celebration of World Kindness Day, which is also November 12, they were kind enough to share it. So, here we go.
Puns, puns, puns
This is where the title of this blog came from. Melissa loves her puns. As she says, they’re witty commentary! To which Kelly reminds her: But they’re not witty.
I personally think they are, but then again, my humor is questionable. And Melissa is pun-stoppable. We love her for her cheesy sayings and her desire to explain jokes to people who don’t “get it.”
Which reminds me: Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
Now that’s funny. And only Melissa is laughing.
Overthinker
I soon learned that bad jokes are the only thing that Melissa arrives at and shares quickly. It seems Melissa is a bit of an overthinker. The girls say, when introduced to a dilemma, an opportunity, a challenge, or even a menu, Melissa contemplates every detail and thinks through every possible outcome. Was this obsessive or an amazing attention to detail? They weren’t sure. But regardless, they told me, when given a “yes or no” question, Melissa’s a definite maybe.
I looked to the birthday girl to see what she thought of this assessment. Turns out, she’s still considering it.
But she promised me this: “I’m not overthinking the fact that I’m 30.”
A not-so-Scorpio Scorpio
At this point, the girls pulled up their phones, in the spirit of kindness, to figure out if Melissa is truly a Scorpio (and perhaps whether all Scorpios told bad jokes and overthought.) Here are their findings:
Scorpios are known for being mysterious. Is Melissa mysterious? Only when it comes to what she’s thinking.
Scorpios are also passionate and protective, and value relationships built on trust. Is this Melissa? Yeah, sure, why not? Sip.
Scorpios are loyal. Here, we were on to something. This is where Melissa finally showed her Scorpio pinchers. Yes, she’s loyal. She’s loyal to the veterans, not only for their service, but because Veterans’ Day coincides with her birthday.
She’s loyal to the state of Wyoming, still insisting she’s a Wyoming Native even though she was only born on an Air Force Base there and moved to Denver as a baby.
She’s loyal to her friends, even though they don’t appreciate her jokes.
But she is loyal, said Kelly. “Like a dog.” Specifically a lab. Because she sheds.
So, Melissa may or may not be a true Scorpio. But she is funny and she is an overthinker. Plus she cuts a mean head of hair. Come in and say hi to this great lady. Maybe you can figure out her real age. In the meantime, I’ll leave you with a question in honor of the birthday girl:
As a chill came into the air, the girls looked at the calendar — and the thermometer — and realized it’s November. And it’s time to address the change of seasons.
Although truthfully, Melissa said it’s not winter until the solstice in December. To which Kelly promptly replied, “Screw that. It’s winter.”
So, there’s that. And despite an overall dislike for all things cold, the girls embraced the topic and got to business. Now that winter is officially/not officially here, what do we all need to be doing?
Throw out the razors. What’s the first thing these empowered women of 2018 said? No Shave November is not just for men! Amen, sisters! We can – and should – stop shaving! Was this a rally cry of pink pussyhats? Was this an incredible way to celebrate winter? Or were the girls just getting lazy? I wasn’t sure.
Because they quickly moved on to assessing everyone’s understanding of this important month to raise awareness of men’s health.
It’s called No Shave November, right? Or is it MOVEMBER?
But why is it called that?, asked Amber.
Because “Mustache” and “No” make NOVEMBER!, exclaimed Melissa.
I’m not sure I followed, but Melissa seemed proud, and Amber seemed convinced. I was just glad these ladies validated my desire to stop shaving.
Cover the winter blubber. Next the girls lamented on how now that it’s winter, we can give up the dream of our summer bikini bodies. Screw it, they said! November is here and it’s the perfect time to hide any undesired blubber. Like with this black plaid scarf. It’s adorable, and it will dress up any outfit. It will also highlight your beautiful face, and not your ample ass.
Another look they love: The Oversize Plaid Blanket Scarf. If you’ve moved straight from beer to Halloween candy, your ears may perk up on this one. But, ahem ladies, we said oversize, not supersize! We’re referring to this 57- by 57-inch fabric of love. Nestle yourself in this warm layer, and you won’t come out till May. And if you gain weight through the holidays, no one will know! (Confused on WTF is a blanket scarf? Answers here.)
Rake your leaves. With a couple snowfalls under our belts, the girls had one last suggestion for how to prepare for winter. Rake the damn leaves. Especially if the leaves from your tree are blowing into your neighbor’s yard. And by the way, Kelly adds, pick up the dog poo before it snows again.
I sensed the conversation was getting heated, what with all the leaves and crap, so we steered back to fashion. And I gathered the true meaning of what the girls really wanted to say about raking, which is “You need this hat.” Now, that’s cute!
So, it may not be the winter solstice. But winter is still here, and so are the words of winter wisdom you’ve read here. Settle in, work on your wooly legs, and cover up everything you can’t stand to see. We’ll have your back. Even if it’s hairy.
Think “adulting” is an actual thing, and not just, well, a way of living.
This is because I’m quickly approaching 50. I’m tired. I’m practical. And I’m grateful, because I “can’t even” think of having to work this hard. And if you’re like me, we probably should hang out.
Like at the Nixon & Company “Old and Bold” Event!
Join us Thursday, November 1, for a special night of celebration for women in their 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond.
This is an event exclusively for mature women, who are too old to care, but too young to stop. So if you’ve lost your husband, soul mate, patience, or mind, you’ll want to be there.
But let us cut to the chase (that’s important at our age)
If your kids are in elementary school, this event is not for you.
If you hear “pamper” and think diapers – and not wine – you’re too young
If you’re coloring your hair to have fun, and not to cover gray, we don’t need your kind.
Instead, this is for you lovely ladies in your flirty 50s, sexy 60s, or sophisticated 70s, or for those already knocking on death’s door.
There will be apps and wine, shopping, beauty tips, Botox, apps, wine, shopping, Botox, good company, apps, and wine. Well, you get it.
There will also be real conversations that don’t involve Instagram, “Merica,” polyamorous relationships, or debate about who we identify as.
It’s a party for your people. People who understand rotary phones, busy signals, drinking from the hose, and manual transmissions. People who…
Pass by the neighborhood pool and think, “Oh thank God, I don’t have to go there.”
Flip consistently between Sirius Hits 1 and the 70s station.
Turn down the music in order to drive better.
Avoid having sex on top because of the view from the bottom.
Anyway, it’s a party for people who are shocked that Rose on the “Golden Girls” was only supposed to be 55! I know, right? I’m not lying – I get all my information from Yahoo Answers.
Join us in recognizing that old folks are old, but young folks are exhausting. Come make new friends, reconnect with old friends, or (who are we kidding) meet new old friends. Bring your maturity and your pragmatism. Sip wine. Sigh deep. Put up your feet and discuss the 80s, when life was good. We’ll see you there. But remember: We check IDs.
You must be logged in to post a comment.