Wow. It seems like just yesterday, we were preparing for Y2K, and now we’re 19 years in. We’re approaching this year with grace and confidence because we’re just one year away from entering the “20s.” You know, like the “Roaring 20s,” but a hundred years later. Let that sink in. Now, when we refer to the 20s, we’ll have to ask, “Which ones?” But I digress. The point is, time is flying, and a century out from prohibition, we’re ready for the last year of this decade, and we’re raising a glass. Game on!
In fact, this is how excited we are.
Well, truthfully, Kelly is just excited because she’s splashing on the beach in Mexico. But she left us up here in the cold with some thoughts on what we can all look forward to in 2019.
One trend we’re excited about is the “Rounded Bob.” No, this is not your fat uncle. This is a new take on the traditional a-line bobs of yesteryear, with a look that is softer and more feminine. For you, it will just take some shine serum and a few minutes with the hair dryer. For the ladies of Nixon & Co, it will take some point cuts into your ends. But as you and I know, they know what they’re doing.
Blunt jawline bob
Here’s another trend we love for the New Year, the blunt jawline bob. Yes, it does sound like a boxing move. But, yo Adrian, this look will keep you on your feet and make you the winner of any match. Okay, enough boxing references. What the cut entails is a short blunt cut coming between your ears and chin. Shorter at the back, longer at the front, it flatters the jaw and brings out your pretty face.
Pass the mustard
While there is plenty more to say about hair trends of 2019, we have to move on to fashion too. Because you know, we are all about overall style from head to toe. The color we’re seeing for spring is yellow. But not lemon, or buttercup, or winter wheat. We’re talking mustard. It’s been said it’s bold with a hint of spice. Now don’t think yellow mustard at your neighborhood cookout. This is more like Grey Poupon. And coordinated with your classic black, it’s a look that’s making us suddenly hungry.
Tie dye and “puffed shoulders”
Since this may be a lot to digest, we’re tackling this one at the same time. Both tie dye and “puffed shoulders” have hit the runway for the season. They can’t scare us with these ones. Remember, we have beer. The fact is, it’s time to get out your rubber bands and your old shirts. Or, probably better yet, be on the look-out for these amazing finds.
At the same time, look for some added poof in your dresses and tops.
But remember, think “Puff,” not “Linebacker.” This is 2019. We don’t want to hurt anyone.
In conclusion, these are just a few of the many trends of 2019 we’re ready for. And, if you want a new style to welcome in the new year, come see us. We’ll set you on a path to roar into 2020. And we’ll raise a toast together!
We don’t know when it happened. Well, it was around 2010, according to TimeMagazine. But suddenly we can’t get through a holiday season without our ugly sweaters.
Amber loves to sport her favorite one, with the strategically placed rose covering her boob. She swears it’s lovely. And it’s from Nordstrom! So it’s okay.
She pulls it out every Christmas. Well, that’s not true. She wears it year-round. But the point is this, ladies: Ugly sweater season is here, and how can we make the most of this ugly tradition? Pour your nog, friends, we have some thoughts.
Embrace it. The truth is the easiest way to get through it all is to just find that ugly sweater. The uglier the better. Take Amber’s lead and whip out your own nipple. Apparently, you don’t even need a flower. Any of Santa’s helpers will do. Why, Rudolph, is it cold in here?
Seriously, if you don’t have anything hidden in your own closet, get yourself to all the stores who are catering to this trend, er, capitalizing on this opportunity. Nordstrom, Kohl’s, Walmart. They are here for you. And because Ugly Sweater extravaganzas aren’t going away anytime soon, consider it an investment. Although we don’t know how well Rudolph is going to hold up in the wash.
Make your own.
As if the holidays aren’t hard enough, apparently you can make them harder by creating your own ugly sweater. Amber swore there were kits for this. Of course, I didn’t believe her. But again, there is Google.
Sure enough, “Let’sGet Ugly” is available at Bed Bath & Beyond – marked down to$6.99. I believe you have to get your own sweater though. And there are no reviews. Trust your gut here. I say, Amber can make a sweater, and I’ll make a drink.
Speaking of kits, it also seems there’s no reason to limit your ugly sweater to something you have to wear. Hell, you can eat this lovely tradition. Also available at Walmart is an ugly sweater cookie decorating kit. This is truly for the Christmas die-hards who want to bring out their creativity, and honestly, their tweezers. Check out the finished project.
Try our cute sweaters instead.
If all this is too much, we don’t blame you. Besides, there are so many times in our lives when we’re accidentally ugly, why would we do it on purpose?
Instead, snub the trend and get a sweater that’s truly cute. We love this oversized grey sweater. Warm and cozy, even your nipples won’t show.
Another great look for any holiday party: The dusty pink v-neck sweater. The look is dressy with a wide v-cut scoop neck and breast pocket detail. Relaxed yet slimming, the look is hard to achieve anywhere else. Even with a kit!
Finally, ugly sweater or cute sweater, it’s sweater weather and ugly sweater season. Do what you got to do to get through it, even if you need a giant boob rose. Or two. And in the meantime, we wish you all a MerryChristmas.
It’s Amber’s birthday, the resident Sagittarius. Happy birthday Amber!
This tribute to Amber started with Kelly telling us that those born under the Sagittarius sign are natural wanderers. Kelly says this doesn’t apply to Amber. She never wanders. But Amber herself disagrees. “I am a wanderer,” she says, “But a responsible wanderer.”
I quickly realized how wandering this blog was going to get.
But we forged ahead, in honor of our birthday girl.
The girls read that the Sagittarius is the most peaceful and loving of all the fire signs. This brought them to a round of “This girl is on fire,” but then they got back to business. They read on that Amber is supposed to be generous and idealistic, with a great sense of humor: An enthusiastic extrovert, constantly in touch with the world and possessing an intense curiosity.
Amber was sold. She does have a wandering soul, she says.
“I look at what makes sense at the moment,” she says. “And I’m okay if that changes.”
And if someone told her to jump off a cliff, she would. In fact, she did, she says.
She never got to that story, because this wandering girl veered the subject to one of her latest adventures. A married mom in the suburbs, she followed her intense curiosity on a quest for the most comfortable panties, only available at Sam’s Club.
There she was: Constantly in touch with the world… of intimate apparel at a membership-only retail warehouse. On a mission to buy panties and only panties, she found her size and threw them in the cart, not realizing that the panty packaging looked oddly like a best-selling hardcover. So, extroverted and enthusiastic, she was quick to answer when a passing associate asked her if it was any good. “Hell, yes!” she told him. “Get yourself some today!”
Well, that’s not entirely true. But she is a fan of her Sam’s Club panties.
And this wandering Sagittarius is idealistic with a big heart. Even in travels to Sam’s Club, even in bulk underwear. This girl is on fire.
Which is why Kelly’s been a big fan since they met at Kelly’s former salon in 2006. “I don’t know what I’d be doing today if Amber hadn’t come into my life,” she says.
Aw, it was a sweet moment and I could see how close all three of these ladies are in friendship, respect, partnership, and intense curiosity.
In this case, it was the curiosity of what they wanted for Christmas, and thus they wandered…
Kelly wants a new diamond. Melissa wants a robot vacuum cleaner. “But they’re a million dollars,” she sighs. NO THEY’RE NOT, MELISSA. They’re like $200. You can get them on Amazon, they implore.
Oh, but birthday girl is on to something: She wants a handheld steamer to clean the shower. “You can just use a clothes steamer,” they tell her. “No, it has to be a cleaner steamer,” Amber says. Like we said, she’s idealistic.
What do you want?
So this topic led to a natural wandering to Cyber Monday, and the amazing items available online at Nixon and Company. Kelly says, stay on your couch and check out these incredible styles – and take up to 40% off!
As a chill came into the air, the girls looked at the calendar — and the thermometer — and realized it’s November. And it’s time to address the change of seasons.
Although truthfully, Melissa said it’s not winter until the solstice in December. To which Kelly promptly replied, “Screw that. It’s winter.”
So, there’s that. And despite an overall dislike for all things cold, the girls embraced the topic and got to business. Now that winter is officially/not officially here, what do we all need to be doing?
Throw out the razors. What’s the first thing these empowered women of 2018 said? No Shave November is not just for men! Amen, sisters! We can – and should – stop shaving! Was this a rally cry of pink pussyhats? Was this an incredible way to celebrate winter? Or were the girls just getting lazy? I wasn’t sure.
Because they quickly moved on to assessing everyone’s understanding of this important month to raise awareness of men’s health.
It’s called No Shave November, right? Or is it MOVEMBER?
But why is it called that?, asked Amber.
Because “Mustache” and “No” make NOVEMBER!, exclaimed Melissa.
I’m not sure I followed, but Melissa seemed proud, and Amber seemed convinced. I was just glad these ladies validated my desire to stop shaving.
Cover the winter blubber. Next the girls lamented on how now that it’s winter, we can give up the dream of our summer bikini bodies. Screw it, they said! November is here and it’s the perfect time to hide any undesired blubber. Like with this black plaid scarf. It’s adorable, and it will dress up any outfit. It will also highlight your beautiful face, and not your ample ass.
Another look they love: The Oversize Plaid Blanket Scarf. If you’ve moved straight from beer to Halloween candy, your ears may perk up on this one. But, ahem ladies, we said oversize, not supersize! We’re referring to this 57- by 57-inch fabric of love. Nestle yourself in this warm layer, and you won’t come out till May. And if you gain weight through the holidays, no one will know! (Confused on WTF is a blanket scarf? Answers here.)
Rake your leaves. With a couple snowfalls under our belts, the girls had one last suggestion for how to prepare for winter. Rake the damn leaves. Especially if the leaves from your tree are blowing into your neighbor’s yard. And by the way, Kelly adds, pick up the dog poo before it snows again.
I sensed the conversation was getting heated, what with all the leaves and crap, so we steered back to fashion. And I gathered the true meaning of what the girls really wanted to say about raking, which is “You need this hat.” Now, that’s cute!
So, it may not be the winter solstice. But winter is still here, and so are the words of winter wisdom you’ve read here. Settle in, work on your wooly legs, and cover up everything you can’t stand to see. We’ll have your back. Even if it’s hairy.
If you’re like us, your pace is a mile a minute, and if you slow down for one fraction of a second, the wheels are gonna fall off. Relax? Are you kidding? While you’re at it, you’ll also have a crumpet with the queen after your polo match.
But still, National Relaxation Day is coming up. So even if you’re wound tighter than the Spanx you accidentally threw in the dryer, you should at least try to chill out, even just a little. Let’s unpack this, shall we?
First, this is legit.
They say National Relaxation Day stemmed from a UK holiday called “Slackers’ Day,” which I’m just going to say sounds much easier to get behind. Regardless, on this day, we encourage you to somehow find the perfect way to relax. Dig deep here.
Kelly suggests a hot and tender approach using an instrument of loving heat. It involves soft strokes with just enough firm pressure to experience the impact. Relax and feel the straight…
Whoa! Not that, you dirty girl. We’re talking about a BLOW-OUT.
This relaxing service demands you sit and do nothing but enjoy the pampering. And it leaves you looking awesome. You may even be more inclined to do what you had in mind in the first place. Make an appointment here. For the blow-out, silly. Not the sex. That’s a whole other website. Clear your cookies, ladies.
Beyond the blow-out, here are more ways to embrace this day.
Wine, wine, and more wine. This was Kelly’s next answer. Of course, she thought the question had turned to “What’s for breakfast?” But seriously, she still said wine. And for good reason. For so many of us it’s the number-one way to relax. And we don’t even need a national holiday for it. Bottoms up.
Shopping. We’re not going to lie. Retail therapy always tames the savage beast. And this doesn’t have to involve a trip to the mall and painful crowds. For example, you can browse our boutique. The atmosphere is calm and soothing and we’re always here to help. If you’re so relaxed you can’t make it in, you can also shop online. Sip your wine as you look for more perfect outfits to relax in. Like this Dusty Pink Soft Cardigan. Now that’s cozy.
Take a long bath. Another idea: Step away from the chaos and fill up the tub. Crate the kids Make sure the kids are safe, then lock the door and make sure they can’t find you. Then lose yourself in the hot steam. This works for 99% of women. But not if you’re Amber, who claims baths make her too hot. Then try a cold shower. The point it: Escape and relax!
Skip it all together. Another approach to this day? Simply say no. As Melissa says, “I don’t relax.” Perhaps you too are fed a steady diet of food poisoning, children, demands, deadlines and anxiety that you don’t relax either. This is fine! If we know anything, it’s that we can’t keep caving to society and these fabricated holidays. If we’re not ready to relax, screw it. Pour the coffee and keep the wheels on the bus!
At the end of the day, ladies, do what you gotta do. Buy the wine, fill the tub, or fill your shopping cart. Celebrate the day by relaxing – or not relaxing – the way you want! Like in these Sage Drawstring Joggers. So comfy, you won’t want to take them off. Or someone else may want to. You know, after you get that blow-out.
It’s hot out, the kids are home, and every road everywhere is under construction. Tempers are high, and too many people are getting up in your grill. We say screw that! It’s National Grilling Month. Who tells us about this shit informative news? We’re not sure, but we’re here to put a new spin on it. Instead of encouraging you to stand around the coals and sink into the sod in your best apron, we have other ideas for National Grilling Month. Simply: During this month-long celebration, take the opportunity to tell everyone to back that grill up!
You heard us….During National Grilling Month, don’t grab your tongs – instead, right your wrongs! We’re giving you permission to step away from the heated controversies of summer and put your grill first.
Even if you don’t have a grill like this, we have some guidelines. Here they are!
First: If this is your barbecue host….
We all know someone like this. Someone whose enthusiasm for the barbecue trumps her enthusiasm for good taste. If this is happening to you it’s time to actively seek other patios, Stat!
If these video crackheads are anything like mine chances are they haven’t seen the sun since they got off the school bus. It’s likely they’re only emerging from the couch to ask you for snacks – but they don’t want the amazing grilled chicken and veggies you just perfected over open gas. (Never mind that you singed your new eyelashes lighting the damn thing and now you have to wash your hair because it smells like fire.)
If you have kids like these, throw that video console on the flames and be done! There are eight weeks left of summer, light a fire under them buns.
And finally: If the city says this is now part of your daily commute, ugh!
This is twisted sister and we’re not gonna take it, no, we ain’t gonna take it, oh we’re not gonna take it anymore…
If you’re dealing with one too many cones and temporary new traffic patterns, we empower you to take a stand. In fact, next time you’re stuck in your hot car, step out, stand up, and walk away. Maybe even leave it running. Ok wait don’t do that.. Just think it, doing it might get you in trouble.
And one more thing: In case you don’t know: BBQs are for the backyard! We don’t want to see you with the tailgate down and your grill pulled around front. Seriously, we don’t.
Whew. Glad we got all that off our chest. And now, we focus on more positive aspects of National Grilling Month: The things that can perfect any patio and beguile any barbecue…
In conclusion ladies, behold the possibilities of National Grilling Month and protect your precious grill. Swat down the irritants that are invading your space. Throw out the sauces and amp up your sauciness. Others will thank you! Now go out in the backyard and Fight the Good Fight!Grill on ladies, Grill on..
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