by Amy | Aug 6, 2018 | Boutique, Trends
If you’re like us, your pace is a mile a minute, and if you slow down for one fraction of a second, the wheels are gonna fall off. Relax? Are you kidding? While you’re at it, you’ll also have a crumpet with the queen after your polo match.
But still, National Relaxation Day is coming up. So even if you’re wound tighter than the Spanx you accidentally threw in the dryer, you should at least try to chill out, even just a little. Let’s unpack this, shall we?
First, this is legit.
They say National Relaxation Day stemmed from a UK holiday called “Slackers’ Day,” which I’m just going to say sounds much easier to get behind. Regardless, on this day, we encourage you to somehow find the perfect way to relax. Dig deep here.
Kelly suggests a hot and tender approach using an instrument of loving heat. It involves soft strokes with just enough firm pressure to experience the impact. Relax and feel the straight…
Whoa! Not that, you dirty girl. We’re talking about a BLOW-OUT.
This relaxing service demands you sit and do nothing but enjoy the pampering. And it leaves you looking awesome. You may even be more inclined to do what you had in mind in the first place. Make an appointment here. For the blow-out, silly. Not the sex. That’s a whole other website. Clear your cookies, ladies.
More ideas
Beyond the blow-out, here are more ways to embrace this day.
Wine, wine, and more wine. This was Kelly’s next answer. Of course, she thought the question had turned to “What’s for breakfast?” But seriously, she still said wine. And for good reason. For so many of us it’s the number-one way to relax. And we don’t even need a national holiday for it. Bottoms up.
Shopping. We’re not going to lie. Retail therapy always tames the savage beast. And this doesn’t have to involve a trip to the mall and painful crowds. For example, you can browse our boutique. The atmosphere is calm and soothing and we’re always here to help. If you’re so relaxed you can’t make it in, you can also shop online. Sip your wine as you look for more perfect outfits to relax in. Like this Dusty Pink Soft Cardigan. Now that’s cozy.
Take a long bath. Another idea: Step away from the chaos and fill up the tub. Crate the kids Make sure the kids are safe, then lock the door and make sure they can’t find you. Then lose yourself in the hot steam. This works for 99% of women. But not if you’re Amber, who claims baths make her too hot. Then try a cold shower. The point it: Escape and relax!
Skip it all together. Another approach to this day? Simply say no. As Melissa says, “I don’t relax.” Perhaps you too are fed a steady diet of food poisoning, children, demands, deadlines and anxiety that you don’t relax either. This is fine! If we know anything, it’s that we can’t keep caving to society and these fabricated holidays. If we’re not ready to relax, screw it. Pour the coffee and keep the wheels on the bus!
At the end of the day, ladies, do what you gotta do. Buy the wine, fill the tub, or fill your shopping cart. Celebrate the day by relaxing – or not relaxing – the way you want! Like in these Sage Drawstring Joggers. So comfy, you won’t want to take them off. Or someone else may want to. You know, after you get that blow-out.
by Amy | Jul 30, 2018 | Boutique, Hair
It is sad that so many of us seem to struggle with this. It’s even sadder that there are bestsellers out there to help. And a Real Simple magazine. Now there’s even a national celebration called Simplify Your Life Week. (And, of course, we know about it.)
This should be, well, simple. To simplify your life, just quit your job, step away from the mortgage, and lock the kids outside. Bam! Your life is now simple! But wait, you’re also unemployed, homeless, and incarcerated. There is the downside.
But it is still possible to simplify. And we have four tips that should make it a little easier. And less illegal.
First things first: Narrow down your wine order
You know what complicates life? Having too many options for your wine order. Can you imagine the hours you are wasting in the aisles of Sam’s Club? Or the precious moments you are spending wondering if you’re in a spicy, dry, fruity, or nutty mood. You know you represent them all – at all times.
To simplify, keep your order straight-forward. Have a go-to answer: Merlot. Period. Or: White. Any. Or do like we do. When someone says “wine?” We simply say “Yes.” Easy peasy.
Simplify your wardrobe
Another way to make life simple is by un-complicating your clothes. Now we’re not talking specifically about Garanimals. (My young readers, this was a kids’ clothing line established in 1972. Ask your parents.)
Also, we don’t expect you to wear children’s clothing. (At least not out in public. But if you’ve been that successful on your diet that you fit into kids’ sizes, well, kudos to you.)
But really, what we’re talking about is the “fool-proof simplicity” of items that can be easily mixed and matched by any preschooler. Even our own.
We need to stop making good style difficult. Instead, we need to think simplicity. Pick quality items that can be worn alone or paired with others. Invest in a “look” that’s right for you and start building a stable of pieces. Pardon the animal pun. Start shopping here.
Get a great haircut and style
Now we’re just guessing here. But we’re willing to go out on a limb (animal reference) and say that your everyday routine doesn’t allow for trolling YouTube for how-to-get-the-perfect blow-out tutorials. Those pesky jobs/kids/families really put a dent in that, but that’s another story. Not to mention the other videos you could be searching regarding “blowing.” But we digress.
The fact is no one has time for complicated routines and learning curves. Invest in a quality cut and style that’s in line with the natural properties of your hair and the unnatural demands of your people. Leave complicated for your relationships, and keep your hair simple.
Streamline your shopping
Finally, know that driving all around God’s creation searching for the cutest clothes just takes up too much time and energy – time and energy that could be spent drinking wine. Or helping us identify national holidays.
Instead, simplify your life by buying all your clothes here. Or online here. Tops, bottoms, skirts, dresses, even coats, and shoes, and jewelry, gifts and accessories – we have it all. And of course, they’re the best around. Plus, you’ll master a stylish look that comes together naturally, without even Garanimals labels.
Bottom line: With all the crap we’ve got going on, and those needy jobs/kids/families that surround us, we have to do what we can to make life easier and simpler. Plus, we shouldn’t need a national week to remind us that less is more. Let’s get out there ladies, and take it down a notch. Relax and a pour a glass of wine. And don’t even ask what kind.
by Amy | Jul 30, 2018 | Boutique
Ain’t it the truth?
When we’re not styling hair and selling our amazing wares in our boutique and online, we’re spending time with the friends who have changed our whole lives. And, oh, how we love them.
August 5th is National Friendship Day. Okay, the truth: When we’re not styling hair and selling wares, we’re looking up this $#% on our phones. Regardless, National Friendship Day is approaching, and we’re celebrating our best friends. Join us in raising our glasses to…
The friends who know where we hid the bodies
Well, maybe not that extreme. But you know what we mean. Our friends know us well – our secrets, our dark thoughts, and our bad deeds. And they love us anyway!
You know your friendship is deep when you both hate the same things. Plus, when you’re considering pushing your boyfriend/husband/child off a cliff, a friend will know all your reasons why. Hell, your friend will even help you push. That’s love!
Friends in crime, we salute you! We also salute…
The friends who will tell us the truth
Is today’s lunch in our teeth? Do those jeans make us look fat? Did our husband really deserve to be pushed off a cliff? We love that friends will agree with everything we say (even if they know we’re wrong). But they’ll also tell us the truth. And because they’re not our parents, children, or significant others, we might just listen!
Friendships are built on honesty, trust, and communication. Along with bad decisions and things we agree to not speak of. We honor our friends who will tell us like it is, or at least agree to not mention it. Cheers! We also love…
The friends who are always there
They come in all forms. The ones we see every day, or the ones we haven’t talked to in years. But we call them out of nowhere and pick up just where we left off.
We all have those people we’ve cried with, fought with, travelled across the country with, and of course laughed with. Probably so hard that snot came out your nose. Or we peed. (Just a little bit.) Or we even pooped. Wait. That wasn’t because we were laughing. It was because of e. coli. Of course! Since we’re friends, we’ll go with that.
Finally, on National Friendship Day, we toast to…
The friends who could star with us on our own reality show
You know you have those friends, and you know you’ve thought about it. With the crazy $#% you talk about, you both should be in a show. Airing Mondays. After Bachelor Pad.
Because what you and your friends have done, you know you couldn’t possibly make up. And wouldn’t it be downright stupid entertaining to share it on network television? What a cash cow, and what great ratings. Of course, there’d be more dead bodies to explain. But good friendships always stay strong. Even in prison.
So, in conclusion, happy National Friendship Day. Celebrate the day by reaching out to your friends – old and new – and telling them how much they mean. Give them a hug, show your love, or just help them push someone off a cliff. Let them know they are one classy bitch. We’ve even got a card for that.
Or check out our new timeline cards, which let you create the most personal message possible and save it for eternity. And these cards can even be read out loud at the gift exchange. Which is almost as good as having a reality show.
Until next time, our dear friends, mwah! We love you! Happy National Friendship Day!
by Amy | Jul 18, 2018 | Boutique, Trends
It’s hot out, the kids are home, and every road everywhere is under construction. Tempers are high, and too many people are getting up in your grill. We say screw that! It’s National Grilling Month. Who tells us about this shit informative news? We’re not sure, but we’re here to put a new spin on it. Instead of encouraging you to stand around the coals and sink into the sod in your best apron, we have other ideas for National Grilling Month. Simply: During this month-long celebration, take the opportunity to tell everyone to back that grill up!
You heard us….During National Grilling Month, don’t grab your tongs – instead, right your wrongs! We’re giving you permission to step away from the heated controversies of summer and put your grill first.
Even if you don’t have a grill like this, we have some guidelines. Here they are!
First: If this is your barbecue host….
We all know someone like this. Someone whose enthusiasm for the barbecue trumps her enthusiasm for good taste. If this is happening to you it’s time to actively seek other patios, Stat!
Another issue…
If these video crackheads are anything like mine chances are they haven’t seen the sun since they got off the school bus. It’s likely they’re only emerging from the couch to ask you for snacks – but they don’t want the amazing grilled chicken and veggies you just perfected over open gas. (Never mind that you singed your new eyelashes lighting the damn thing and now you have to wash your hair because it smells like fire.)
If you have kids like these, throw that video console on the flames and be done! There are eight weeks left of summer, light a fire under them buns.
And finally: If the city says this is now part of your daily commute, ugh!
This is twisted sister and we’re not gonna take it, no, we ain’t gonna take it, oh we’re not gonna take it anymore…
If you’re dealing with one too many cones and temporary new traffic patterns, we empower you to take a stand. In fact, next time you’re stuck in your hot car, step out, stand up, and walk away. Maybe even leave it running. Ok wait don’t do that.. Just think it, doing it might get you in trouble.
And one more thing: In case you don’t know: BBQs are for the backyard! We don’t want to see you with the tailgate down and your grill pulled around front. Seriously, we don’t.
Whew. Glad we got all that off our chest. And now, we focus on more positive aspects of National Grilling Month: The things that can perfect any patio and beguile any barbecue…
Cute clothes of course!
This White Baby Doll Cami is the ideal look for all things backyard. Welcome to the party!
The Patterned Indigo Maxi is a cool look for these very hot days.
And you’ll have no issue with the classy guest who shows up in this Red & White Circle Top.
In conclusion ladies, behold the possibilities of National Grilling Month and protect your precious grill. Swat down the irritants that are invading your space. Throw out the sauces and amp up your sauciness. Others will thank you! Now go out in the backyard and Fight the Good Fight! Grill on ladies, Grill on..
by Amy | Jul 7, 2018 | Holiday, Trends
Friday, July 6, marks International Kissing Day. This means the challenge is on: How many people can you kiss today?
You heard us.
We’re talking about an entire day to celebrate the sport of making out. Yes, you wish we were making this up. But we’re not. International Kissing Day is a real thing. It was established in 2006 to “focus on the kissing that takes place between lovers and to celebrate the place it holds in our society.”
Experts advise that this is not just about romantic kissing. It’s also about general kissing in our culture and society: Kissing on each cheek, greeting family, or kissing goodbye.
Yeah, whatever.
We’re going with the first one: Hot, randy sessions with your partner, your spouse, your significant other, or just the guy in line at Raising Canes. (This is your opening, ladies!)
This is the perfect opportunity to pretend you’re the Bachelorette and swap spit with all you encounter. Grab your z-pack, and gear up. But first things first: Make sure you’re kissable.
Come see us
Know that even if you’re doling out tongue for free, it’s still important to look your best. Whether you just need some upkeep, or you want something new, make an appointment. Of course, we can do the basic cut and color. But which style, and what color? Kissing is about opening your lips heart to new total strangers experiences, and so is exploring our color and highlighting options, Keratin treatments, extensions, waxing, updos, or brow and lash tints. We are full service, which mean you can make out with a whole new look. Get it?
Amp up your products
Another way to look your kissable best? Revisit your bathroom and see which is older – your oldest child, or your hair gel? Products expire ladies, and even if yours still have shelf life, they may not be the best ones you could be using. Chemistry has changed, and there are tools out there that can control frizz, reverse damage, add volume and shine, and make color last.
Remember, good looks don’t come naturally. They come in a bottle!! Come in, consult with us, and stock up. Then carry home your new miracle workers with class and confidence. Like in this Mamuye Leather Tote.
Get on your toes
Finally, in celebration of International Kissing Day, join us in embracing the cliché tippy-toe kissing stance.
According to our Google-prowess, this is a common kissing pose. And women are apparently always four inches too short and often without proper foot ware.
Regardless, the Internet says we like these tip-toe kisses. But on this special day, take steps to make them easier. Let’s say by wearing these adorable Brown Leather Platform Wedges.
They’re lightweight and cushioned, for more comfort for your kissing. And they feature a 3 ¼ inch wedge heel, which means you’ll be able to make out in style, without a visit to your podiatrist.
In conclusion, ladies…
The time has come. The time is now. Take immediate action to make yourself kissable. Grab that Emergen-C and use this day to suck some serious face. It’s International Kissing Day. Apply lipstick and handle it. Hey, that would make a great shirt. 
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