by Amy | Sep 18, 2018 | Uncategorized
No kidding. It’s not. The subject is repetitive (it does happen every year, ladies. Duh). It’s also confusing. One day it’s 90 degrees, the next day it’s bleak and cold. The inconsistency wears on people, and we’re already dreading the “Uggs and Shorts” combos.
We’re not joking here. These are indeed both dull and scary times. To get through it all, we’re just going to talk it out. Right here.
Fall brings out all the feels
While fall is boring, it still comes with heated debate. Basically, the question in the air is “Are we ready for it?” Some of us are putting the brakes on September. Others couldn’t ingest their pumpkin faster if they free-based it.
And the mere mention of fall brings out all the opinions, no matter how diverse.
Amber says: I wish people would stop putting out their fall decorations so soon.
Kelly says: Why does King Soopers already have Christmas stuff out?
Melissa says: I’m excited to “fall” into my new hat.
To which Kelly replies: Stop, Melissa, you’re such a cheese head.
But in all seriousness
Fall is here September 22nd, whether we’re ready or not. And, despite the bad judgment of our local grocery store, Kelly says we’re ready. (And what Kelly says, goes. See last week’s blog: “I’m not a b@$!h. I’m a Virgo.”)
So, all kidding aside, we’re here to help you embrace the season. It’s time to update your wardrobe, cast aside summer, and bring in the fall. If your ability to shift gears is a little rusty, don’t fear. Rust is in! Check out these fall fashions at Nixon and Company:
Like these comfy, stylish boyfriend corduroy slouch pants – in rust! Slouch means you can wear them and still have some fall apple pie. “Boyfriend” means you’ll always love them – even after the next boyfriend pair comes along.
Another great fall color – green. In fact, we love o-luv. These amazing fedoras are classic and fun. Plus they let you go a whole other day without shampooing. Check out this one here.
And, finally, fall wouldn’t feel right without slipping into jeans: Ripped, Cropped and Skinny. (Hey, those should be the alter-egos of Kelly, Amber, and Melissa the next time they go to Vegas? I like it!) Seriously, we have the styles. Shop online or in the store!
Alas, put the shorts away.
No matter how you feel about it, fall is here and these looks are hot, hot, hot. We hope we’ve inspired you to throw on some layers and put the shorts away. Even though, technically, in Colorado, you could still wear shorts in winter.
Shorts in winter? What? Amber says: I don’t even wear my shorts in summer.
Focus Amber. The topic is fall.
And it’s here. Bring on the football, the leaves, the decorations, and the pumpkin Oreos. Break out the wine. It’s not funny. But it’s happening.
by Amy | Sep 10, 2018 | Holiday
And so begins this entry in honor of Kelly Nixon’s birthday, which was September 9th.
This means we’re posting this late, and we missed posting it on or before the actual day. So, while that’s bad, it also shows our incompetence, which is a nice segue into the things all Virgos can’t stand. So Happy Birthday Kelly! To celebrate, we’re delving into other aspects of your special Virgo-ness and all the things that make you tick!
Anal and obsessive
Now, Kelly might tell you this is just another way of saying “detail-oriented” and “precise.” But I did notice how fast Google auto-populates “Is Virgo more likely…” with “to have OCD?” (The answer, by the way, is “Oh God, Yes.”) Turns out, Virgos are known as the perfectionists of the zodiac. So, it’s not just Kelly who will repeatedly tug on your hair during a cut to make sure the sides are even. It’s all Virgos. But we’ll take it, because Damn straight, even hair is awesome!
A little less conversation, a little more action
It was just a matter of time before we quoted an Elvis song, but here you have it. Another trait about Virgos is that they are no talk, all action. If Kelly comes off abrupt because she’s not slowing down to chat, don’t think she’s bitchy. She’s just a Virgo and she has things to do. When she is chatty, she’s usually reeling off solutions to the world’s problems. And she’s doing it all as she’s applying your foils.
Frustrated by incompetence and stupidity
Don’t be the person who doesn’t do what they’re supposed to do. Don’t say you do and don’t. Don’t act like you will and won’t. Blatant crappy behavior? Kelly don’t play that game. With her and all Virgos, this simply won’t do. For example, don’t post a September 9th blog on September 10th . Just saying.
Stands their ground
Finally, our birthday girl – like her Virgo sisters – is indeed bossy. But only in the name of getting things done. And she may be cold, but only because she’s cautious. She’s obsessive, but only in the way that’s tenacious. She stands her ground, but only in the best shoes. Like these amazing Open Toe Silver Heels.
Bottom line: We’ll be the first to tell you. Kelly’s not a bitch. She’s a Virgo. And so was Mother Teresa. We love her, and she cuts a mean head of hair. Come in and say Happy Birthday. Even after September 3rd. We incompetent non-Virgos will have your back.
by Amy | Sep 7, 2018 | Boutique, Holiday
The first Friday in September is Lazy Moms Day. Is this like National Unicorn Day?
Last we checked, there were no lazy moms. Who thought of this title? A man? We’ve tried to find some lazy moms to gear up for this day, but the moms we found were running off to work, backed up in the Kiss & Go lane, or figuring out how to add partial sums. So, we had to dig deeper.
About Lazy Moms Day
Alas, it turns out, Lazy Moms Day is not a celebration of Lazy Moms. It’s a celebration of moms and a national decree bearing them the right to be lazy. For one whole day. True, this is better. But, we have our doubts. Let’s break this down.
First: We say laziness is lady’s choice.
We moms have literally created a whole human being inside ourselves. We wrecked our bodies, and then pushed it out only to have it backtalk us for the rest of our lives.
While we may not be sane, we are committed. And we are the rock stars of humanity. Based on this, we’ll tell you when we need a day to be lazy. It will be on our terms. And it won’t be once a year.
Second: Why do we need a national decree?
Here’s a national decree: “We’re tired.” It takes a lot of effort to Lean In. To keep track of our “Me too” moments. To manage work and childcare and to make 80 cents on the dollar. Now we have to track goofy holidays? We appreciate the nod, but really? Sniff, sniff… I smell a man close by.
Third: If we even wanted to be lazy, we’d have to work for it.
Getting to be lazy can’t just happen for we moms. It’s not as easy as making a tee time and going. For moms, it’s different. For example, this is what we must do just to leave town for a day (without being followed):
- Ensure kids’ transportation is not a cover for an international sex trafficking ring
- Pack nutritious and convenient lunches in advance (so they can be forgotten and kids can “starve” and blame you)
- Shop for and prepare ready-to-heat meals (so they can be forgotten and whole family can go to McDonalds)
- Make list of emergency contacts in case of sex trafficking
- Coordinate pet care because family will forget
- Hire help because family will forget
- Sign permission slips so they can be forgotten
- Anticipate last-minute laundry needs because of what family has forgotten
- Create to-do list so family doesn’t forget
- Alert neighbors about your absence (and potential sex trafficking threat)
Whew. It might be easier just to not relax. Even if it were National Relaxation Day, which, by the way, has passed.
So really: Is Lazy Moms Day really going to work?
They say we moms are supposed to celebrate the day by taking a holiday from laundry, dishes, bathroom cleaning, and car pools. It does sound grand, doesn’t it. But in reality, we think taking a break from any of these tasks will mean just doing more the next day. I don’t know about you, but I’m sensing more clothes piled up, more dishes in the sink, and even more piss around the rim. And honestly, I bet they’ll throw in one more kid to pick up. Maybe someone we don’t even know. See, trafficking.
Knowing this, it’s probably best for all of us if we celebrate as briskly as possible in a way that’s least likely to loosen our work saddle break up the routine. We say: Shop.
Come in and visit us or shop online for some amazing looks you deserve. Don’t wait for someone to go out and get you something. Just do it yourself. You’re a mom. And if anyone asks you whether you’re going to be lazy, we have the perfect shirt to wear in response.
Cheers to you, you lazy mom. We salute you!
by Amy | Aug 21, 2018 | Holiday
What the heck? It’s Labor Day already? We don’t know about you, but we think this celebration comes on so fast, it should be called “Going into Labor Day.” Seriously. We just covered Memorial Day, and – aside from being able to send those pesky kids back to school – we say it’s way too soon to mark the end of summer. That’s why we’re rebelling. Here’s how to join us.
- Keep calling it summer.
First, who says Labor Day is the closing parenthesis of summer? Is this the Catskills in the 1960s? Our under-boobs are still sweating, and it’s still technically summer through September 22. Based on this, our first act of rebellion is to just keep on summering past the three-day weekend. In fact, we may even plan a family trip. Kids in school and can’t go? These are details we’re willing to overlook. We’re rebels!
- Wear white.
Ugh. The old rule that says you can’t wear white past Labor Day? It’s another limitation circa Dirty Dancing. Well, we say nobody puts our favorite whites in a corner. We’re gonna wear the hell out of them! We may be even buy more. You can too. For example, get this White Hoodie Muscle Shirt and dare someone to say summer’s over.
Another white you’ll love past August: These hip White Cutout Joggers. These bottoms are stylish and functional – you can break the rules and then run away! You go, our summer sister!
- Jump in pools.
Oh, you know it. We’re going there. We don’t care if they already hosted “Doggie Dive 2018.” Or that they drained the water. We’re getting our tax dollars’ worth, and we’re climbing the fence. The fact that neighborhood pools close after Labor Day is further proof that they’re pushing summer out and rushing fall in.
Join us in boycotting this closure. Come lay with us on the hot concrete slab and enjoy the silence! It’s still summer! And we deserve our pool time!
But we’ll stop right here.
While Labor Day is here too soon, we are willing to concede to a few Labor Day customs. Remember: We’re rebellious. But we’re never stupid.
Knowing this, here are some things about Labor Day we will embrace:
- The barbeque, picnic and party.
- Sending the kids to school.
- All Labor Day wine and beer sales
We’re so fair!
In conclusion, my ladies of summer. Join us getting the most of this season, right up through the damn solstice. Do not cut short our days in the sun. We’re just getting warmed up!
by Amy | Aug 16, 2018 | Boutique, Community
No, not you, you sexy 12th grader. Although with the senior pic poses these days, we could mean high school seniors. But head back to class, saucy minors. The people we’re actually talking to are sexy senior citizens!
This is because it’s Senior Citizen Day, August 21! On this special day, we want to show our respect.
Because … we see you there.
There’s no need to bedazzle your walker. Unless of course, you want to. We’re happy to help. But we want you to know we do see you. We know you often get the rub (And we don’t mean the good kind.) The truth is the jokes are often on you. Do you pick pants or diapers? That DEPENDS! Aggh! Thanks for that, Amber!
All kidding aside, seniors take some serious heat. And we’re here to call bull$&!*
Because… we love seniors.
Advanced older adults are awesome. We admire their perspective, their grit, their spunk, and specifically, their ability to not give a crap. These are folks who have seen the same trends come and go through decades and they know not to get their panties in a wad. (Of course, that’s because many of them no longer wear panties). Regardless, our seniors are the smartest among us and we want to celebrate them!
So what can we do?
Amber knows! Wheelchair races! Great idea! But, the Egg & I won’t let us use their parking lot, it’s not really appropriate.
How about wine? Thanks Kelly! That’s always a great idea. But, we think your other plan might be the best:
30% off – all day!
Sexy seniors, come in on August 21 and celebrate your sexy senior-ness with 30% off all products! Not sure what to get? We can help.
We’re not talking about your tried-and-true Aqua-net. We have products that will add shine to your silver and va-voom to your do! Come see what all the fuss is about!
More ways to celebrate Senior Citizen Day?
Whether it’s racing, or wine, or saving, the point is this, our senior friends: On this day, take the time to appreciate all that you are and all that you know. Here are more ways to celebrate your aging self:
Invest in you. While you’re stocking up on product at Nixon and Company, browse our boutique. We have amazing wares for ladies of all ages. We’re multi-generational! Check out this versatile Kantha Bead Necklace. Wear it long or wrap it for a layered look.
And this easy-access Tadesse Bucket Bag. Wear it over the shoulder or over your body.
Make fun of young people. Another way to celebrate: Give em crap right back. You get to hear all the jokes about your driving, your slowness, and your tendency to start every conversation with “back in my day…” So instead, turn the tables. Google “Millennials Memes” and get the party started.
Mess with young people. When you grow tired of laughing at the younger generations, turn it up a notch. Ask your daughter whether King Soopers sells condoms. Ask your grandson if you can borrow a vape pen. Pour yourself some wine and give them something to talk about.
Finally, old dear friend, we love you. Come in for 30% off. And if you’re not a senior, then find a senior and do something nice for them. Show them the respect they deserve, or you won’t win the race of life. In a wheelchair or not.
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